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SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse

I’m Mickie Zada and I lived in abuse…for 34 years…from age 19 until I was 53. I believe we create our realities, and I chose to stay in a damaging relationship for so long because I thought it was my Calling. I was wrong. I changed me. I am now an enthusiastic participant in Life. “The words ‘I am’ are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.” A.L. Kitselman I am a strong woman, a fabulous woman, over 60 years old. I am a Change-agent. I am an encourager. I am uniquely qualified to speak to living in abuse, getting out and surviving to the fullest extent. I know what it takes. I know the fear. I am a survivor. I am a coach. I am happy to have these “I Am” words to reach back and claim me! The actions I teach and share are those that I’ve learned in my Journey from choosing to live in abuse to choosing to create my authentic life; safe, sound, Real. I invite you to read through this web page. Think about who I Am. Read blogs, listen to some podcasts, watch live videos. Do we connect? I am open and exposed. Choose to reach out to me or not. What I know for sure is that I lived the life of abuse, and got out, and I’ve thrived, to serve as a beacon to other women. If you live in abuse, or you’ve recently escaped, it’s my Mission to support and encourage you to choose and live a healthy life. The materials, the tools, the support is here. It’s your responsibility to grab hold and change yourself, from the in-side out.
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Now displaying: March, 2019
Mar 27, 2019

Raise your hand if you have you said this about your abuser: “How foolish I was.  I thought he was perfect.”?  My hand is up!

Christine Cristina shares her story of shocking awareness of being undermined by a narcissist.  She sold her home and her business because he encouraged her to live the life he had created.  They decided to build a new home.  She chose to travel with him, to spend a lot of time on his boat, to give up her own life to embrace his.

She was 60 years old.  She had never been married.  Her gorgeous gown was purchased and fitted.  Wedding invitations were in the mail.  Then, he called to say he was breaking up with her.  She was not the woman he thought she was.  (!!!!)

Her life unraveled.  She spent four months on the floor crying.  She was suicidal.  She was Shattered.

Christine is a thriver.  With support from friends and through her faith, she became Unstoppable, Unlimited, Unsinkable.  Shatterproof.

Read more details about her unique experience in her book When Life Unravels. 

Reach out to Christine at www.WhenLifeUnravels.com

Mar 20, 2019

A 90-day temporary order took two years to resolve…YEA!  I finally got 50/50 custody of my daughter!

This conversation is not to discourage anyone.  It is to validate that right can eventually prevail, even in custody cases with abusive Dads.

Amber went to court without an attorney and everything her abuser and his attorney told the Judge was believed.  Her abuser was given full custody of their daughter, then and there.

The lies he told were that she was addicted to drugs and alcohol.  She was ordered to attend AA meetings.  He said he did not rape her; she liked rough sex.  She was ordered to seek sex therapy.  He and his lawyer convinced the court that she lived in her car.  She lived with friends.  She was encouraged to sign a 90-day temporary order, giving her abuser full custody of their daughter.  She was convinced it was the right thing to do. 

Finally, after many court appearances, finally hiring an attorney who believed her, and two years of supervised visits with her daughter, Amber gained 50/50 custody. 

Amazingly to me, Amber’s abuser fathered another child and he was given full-custody of that child, using the same tactics against that mother that he did with Amber.  It’s a story we hear over and over.

Amber’s story gives hope that persistence and a good attorney can turn things around.

Amber Elizabeth can be contacted on FaceBook and through her closed page supporting abused women, Breaking Free!  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1877914985844912/?epa=SEARCH_BOX  Ask to join her group.

 

Mar 13, 2019

Jacqui Oh is a career teacher, student and vocalist who loves to ask questions, from dumb to inappropriate and often introspective.  Jacqui likes to have fun.

She is passionate about education, diversity and culture.  All of those areas are addressed on her podcast, StartDis.  She is also a victim turned thriver of domestic abuse.  Her story in this interview is openly shared with heart-felt honesty and emotion.

While Jacqui’s abusive relationship did not last many years, the trauma was tremendous.  They were young: late teens, early 20s.  They dated off and on for a couple of years. Controlling behavior led to threats of suicide and murder.

Still she moved in with him, believing he would not be physically violent toward her. She was wrong. And, after living together for just 4 months, he burned their apartment to the ground! 

Listen to and share this woman’s tremendous story.

Learn more about Jacqui Oh on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/StartDis/

Mar 6, 2019

My guest just celebrated 10 years out of abuse…she created a Facebook video and titled it her “Survivor-versary”!

A long hard road that began as a young child through abuse by her step-father, she was conditioned that being treated poorly was “normal”.

My guest is author Melinda Kunst.

At 17 Melinda moved into teen dating violence … like most of us, she ignored the red flags.   Now, she teaches teens and parents to pay attention to their daughters’ behaviors and words, to listen for control or abuse…she teaches teens not to ignore the red flags, like she did.

Her teen violence boyfriend said he’d kill himself and/or her and her family if she left him…he was a bully.  She married him out of fear…

When they were married, it looked good on the Outside; her friends thought she had married her ideal guy and that she was happy.  From the start, inside the marriage relationship, behind closed doors, her life was one of terror, rampant jealousy, and consistent, constant control by her husband.

After she escaped, as part of her healing Journey, Melinda began writing a blog titled Hope When There Was None.  It’s now a Facebook page; check it out! https://www.facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone/

Melinda Kunst is the author of two books Call Me Master and Awakening the Beauty of Life Without Abuse.  Both are available on Amazon.

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