Somewhere in the recesses of our minds we feel guilty for having left our abuser...on some level you still love him; (even years later) you wonder how he’s doing.
We’re barreling toward another holiday season, and it’s easy to excavate only the good memories. The hurtful, nasty, unhappy holiday memories are buried pretty deep…and they aren’t fun to think about.
For support and inspiration this holiday season, take a look at Surviving the Holidays Mastermind at www.survivingabusenetwork.com/holidays
This time of year, it’s important to remind yourself why you left. And, don’t get sucked back in!
Today, Mickie talks about her early holiday experiences after leaving abuse and offers 9 tips from the National Domestic Abuse Hotline that may help maintain your emotional health through the holidays.
Listen to Patsy Wimmer's story of making some mistakes in her youth that led her into the arms of an abusive husband. Learn why she stayed for so long and what the final act was that caused her to say "No more!". Learn how she got out and ended up making it on her own and eventually reconciling with her children!
Would you tell a friend that it’s OK to be controlled by her husband, to be thrown against a wall, to cover bruises with make-up and long sleeves, to walk back into abuse again and again and again?
Of course not! So, why do we believe everything we think? In our minds, we make excuses, side step our reality, allow ourselves to remain in a damaging relationship. Those thoughts are lies; stop believing them.
Mickie shares the 5 steps that explain why we choose to believe everything we think, and how to change that process. It’s time to change our thoughts, emotions and actions. Then our results will be different. You can do this!
We rationalize until we can’t rationalize anymore. Sound familiar? If you’ve ever lived in abuse, you comprehend the reality of that statement. Mickie shares the story of an abused woman as reported to Huffington Post. It’s not Mickie’s story, it is Jessica’s; a woman whom, we hope, did the in-side work necessary to stay out of abusive relationships.
Our brains process 12,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. Our conscious mind processes 40 bits of information per second; our subconscious mind processes 40 Million bits of information per second! Mickie provides ideas and a fun experiment to learn how to be aware of your thoughts, and how to choose the ones that support your growth, safety and sanity. Listen and give it a try!
Abuse survivor and author, Amber Castleman, speaks her truth in this candid discussion with Mickie. Her new book His Love Hurts; How to Break Free from Your Abuser, and this open conversation with Surviving Abuse Podcast, chronicle Amber’s turbulent and seemingly helpless journey into, through and out of an abusive marriage. After listening to her story and her suggestions, Amber may be reached at amblecastleman.com or makeachangenow.le-vel.com
Mickie shares an anonymous story she found on line, a fabulous description of the emotions created by living in abuse, finally accepting the reality of the situation and the danger, emotion, and freedom of escaping. “Your real friends will listen to you endlessly complain, agonize and cry. They’ll watch in dismay as you smooth it over. If you’re extremely lucky, one of them might say “You sound like a battered wife”. “Do I?!!”, you ask out loud. And the reality of the statement blasts you out of your paralysis.
Everyone knows time is Money. I say time is Life. Mickie lived in abuse for 34 years. She “spent” a lot of her precious time living in fear and control; precisely 408 months, 1,768 weeks, 12,410 days! Even though it often feels this way, how we choose to use our time is not out of our control. Time is our most valuable non-renewable resource; how we use it is our choice. Hear some stories and gain some insight into not spending your time playing head-games about your life.
Mickie discovered an on-line list and description of emotions experienced by abused women. The information was created by Rape and Abuse Crisis Center and, along with their descriptions, Mickie adds her personal experiences and feelings associated with each emotion.
“It’s still amazing to me”, Mickie laments, “that we abused women try to save our marriages, make excuses for our abusers and are embarrassed to tell others about our life at home”. The emotional reality of abused women is a roller coaster!
For a little more than two years Mickie Zada consistently created weekly podcasts titled “The Second 53 Years” and “Figuring It Out After 50”. Since deciding to take her podcasts and business in the direction of addressing domestic abuse, “it’s been a while” since she’s consistently recorded podcasts.
In this episode of “Surviving Abuse” Mickie addresses the fear that has held her back. She admits that she talked-around her abuse in previous podcast shows and clarifies her intention to step through the fires of fear, speak her Truth and get back to creating weekly recordings.
In today's episode I get real. Real about my past. Real about my experiences. Listen to today's episode as I share why our mission has changed and I also share more of my story than you have ever heard.
Author of “Dream Weaver, Goal Achiever: A Step by Step Guide to Turning Your Dreams into Reality”, Barbara Brekke is also a professional speaker and a certified life coach. Growing up in a home with domestic violence, Barbara’s passion for guiding women in creating plans for changing their lives was born of watching her Mother survive in a horrible situation. Having created numerous new paths forward in her own life, Barbara walks her talk. Learn more and download her book “Dream Weaver, Goal Achiever” at www.gobeyondyourdreams.com
A resident of Squamish British Columbia, Janice Giesinger is a Telemark Skier, a former Mountain Bike racer and an avid motorcycle rider. A very small woman, she rides a very big motorcycle all over Canada and the U.S. and travels alone most of the time. Why? Because she can, she loves going fast and she enjoys a challenge.
You can read the full show notes at www.figuringitoutafter50.com
Recently, during a Tony Robbins seminar, Sabine Kvenberg walked on fire! An entrepreneur, business owner, author, singer/songwriter, coach and inspirational speaker, you’d expect this woman to be a hyper over-achiever. You’d be wrong!
Sabine is a wonderful storyteller who uses her many unique life experiences to illustrate the value and necessity for growth and self-awareness. ..especially for women Figuring It Out After 50.
Follow Sabine Kvenberg on facebook and check out her website www.SabineSpeaks.com.
85 year old Adrienne Dorfman has decided to change her Life…again! Her previous careers have been synchronistic and fulfilling. What turned out to be an inspiration to her daughters years later, Adrienne changed careers at 40, then at 50 she became an ordained Minister, now, at 85, she’s embarking on a career as a counselor. She figured out her next step into counseling while talking with me on “Figuring It Out After 50”! You get to listen to her thought process.
You can read the full blog post at www.figuringitoutafter50.com
If you in the process of moving from Where You Are to Who You Are then this conversation will help keep you on your path. Pat LaRosa is in the midst of creating her Third Childhood; she’s almost 60 years old. YAY Pat! She decided to follow her Passion, which happens to be creating wedding ceremonies based on the couples’ personal romantic story….and everyone has one! Pat’s advice to other women is to follow your passion, no matter your age, because you are so worth it! Learn more about Pat at www.SunriseSunsetweddings.com and you can contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org
You can read the full blog post at www.figuringitoutafter50.com
The first time Mickie experienced expecting-Magic-and-it-happened was in 1964. The most recent occurrence was 18 months ago…and there are many instances in between. Positive thinking is a good thing, but it won’t create magic. Discover the missing ingredient and how to expect and create Magic in your life.
Do you believe that our personal resistance to the things we desire causes health issues? Mickie highlights a personal experience and questions whether she created it. Is high, positive Energy important in our lives? Does what we think effect our success and our health? All these ideas are addressed in less than 10 minutes. What do you think?
Attitude is the Master Key to life’s little locks. Mickie shares a story that will stick with her for a long, long time…reminding that response to situations is our Choice. After listening to this show, I bet you carry around a handful of shells, too.
Imagine the toothless grin of a baby…or the giggle of a two year old. If you have either image (or both) in your mind, I bet you’re smiling. Some people go through life without smiling much…I’m not one of them and I hope you’re not choosing to be either!
What do carpenter ants have to do with thought process? Listen and find out. Is “average” OK? Mickie’s Mom said it was so she didn’t strive to achieve more; Average was her limit. What we think creates who we are…and it creates the quality of our lives. Mickie explores how our Life Lessons, even when they don’t serve us well any longer, continue to affect how well we live our lives.
It’s amazing how everyday interactions affect our lives, long term. A recent interaction caused Mickie to wonder about people’s attitudes toward life. People with positive, joyful attitudes live in a healthy, safe world. People who are angry, sad and frustrated live in a dark and gloomy world. But it’s the same world. We choose our attitude toward life and create our reality. Here’s what happened…
I enjoy traveling to new places, seeing new things. But my favorite exploration is in my mind…Sure taking vacations to unfamiliar places, near our homes or on the other side of the world, that’s fun. Exploring people's definition of themselves, our beliefs about who we are, our personal warning system: That’s my favorite exploration.
You won't want to miss this episode, so please join us!
Quitting a six figure job to move to Key West couldn't be a mid-life crisis, could it? Actually, it was a mid-life discovery! Christy Haussler shares her journey from leaving her job, scaring herself to death and finally re-inventing herself to become the person she was always meant to be!
Laurie Holmes lives on Hilton Head Island. She had cataract surgery on Tuesday and Wednesday was told she had to evacuate her home because of Hurricane Matthew. In spite of all the upheaval, from a hotel room in Savannah, Laurie chose to be a podcast guest! Having already moved from Where she was to Who she is, Laurie and Mickie discussed human reaction to unexpected events and the choice we have to panic or accept our minute-to-minute reality with smiles on our faces and happy expectation.